I read the obituary of an acquaintance, gone too soon. This man was an unsung hero in his community, a man who spent most of a lifetime saving and helping others. Invincible. His legacy notes stated that he wanted most to be remembered as a good husband and father to his children. How fortunate the world was to have known him, how fortunate his family to have experienced his enduring love.
This post goes out to all the fathers and mothers, grandparents, siblings, and relatives. Care more for each other. It’s never too late to mend the family fences, if that is what you truly want to have happen.
Whether you are 5 or 50, you are always a “child”within the context of the parent. Second spouses, partners, remember this and choose words and actions carefully. Show some compassion.
It doesn’t matter the circumstances of the event, events soften and fade from memory. Children forgive. They wait for your footsteps to return. They wait for your hand and they wait for you to tell them eye to eye, face to face~ I will always love you. Five simple words, yet so often, missing in the moments of greatest need. Your family needs you even when they pretend that they don’t. Find them, tell them, show that you care.
What matters are the unanswered questions left hanging, the pauses, the silence. The waiting for the other to make the first move. The words, “I love you,” spoken, yet, the actions so out of sync. The beats in a day that are punctuated by the question, Did you love me?
Here’s the catch~ you have to want to reach out, accept accountability, and through your actions show love, or the fence will remain broken. It is never enough to profess love; you must be willing to show love through actions. You must be brave and stand up for right. As a father, mother, second partner, you don’t pick who is in or out of your family circle. Reach out and help the healing process begin. The circle, broken, can be connected. Invincible.
When you choose to leave your family home for another relationship, spouse, or just to be free of responsibility, be ready to accept the consequences of your actions. It may take a lifetime to right the wrong, heal the hurt, forgive the other. Begin to heal. Your children matter, always. Seek them out, send a note, resend it, if need be. Never stop telling them through your actions and your words, that you love them.
It’s never about the money and the “things,” for when it all shakes out and your time on this earth is over, it will be about your legacy. Did you love them? Were you willing to stand up for them? Did you show love through thoughtful actions? In the quiet of the night, can family members confidently state, I was loved.
What will your legacy be? To be able to have stated, He was a good father, she was a good mother. Caring actions that create a legacy of love to live on through the hearts and in the minds of your family. No matter the circumstance.
Your children will take this gift, treasure it, and through their loving actions, the gift will live on throughout the years. Once the seeds are planted, they will grow.
If the fence around your family has fallen, focus from this minute on, toward building it back up.
Evergreens lightly dusted with frost. Branches silhouetted against a pale blue sky. Chimney smoke. Winter white clouds. Raw, chill. A warm oven. Oatmeal muffins and black coffee. Silence. Where are you?
Daily Prompt~ I Was Here
The opportunity to gift a letter to the future inhabitants of a newly discovered planet.
“But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
As you stand on the surface of this newfound world, I ask you to pause and consider my words. It has taken a lifetime to find them, for that is the nature of the beast. One must live a lifetime or in the case of the inhabitants of Earth, millions of life times to discover the truth. Which is very simply, love.
Your curiosity will lead you to create. Carefully, approach the precious landscape, respecting and protecting all that you discover. Once destroyed, it cannot easily be rebuilt. Accept your fellow man. Forget about boundaries to designate my land from yours. Didn’t we learn? Wars are fought over invisible and man-made lines. Be respectful and share what resources you have with those in need. One world.
Build your schools and welcome your children through the doors. Promote literacy and encourage problem-solving strategies. Educate them against hatred and cruelty toward another. Watch them at play, you will learn from their innocent wisdom. Be observant to suffering and offer support to ease the struggle. Cherish your brilliant, your creative, your everyday, for it these individuals that will lead. Write your mission statement around social responsibility. We cry the same tears; we feel the same pain. One world.
Cherish your elderly and those vulnerable to life. Keep them safe and ease their struggles and pain. They are your elders and your wounded, deserving of compassion. Spare no expense to bring some comfort, hope and joy into their grayed world. Humanity.
My world forgot as it spun on an axis of greed. It is not too late for you, though. You are fortunate to have a chance, an opportunity to create a world of beauty, promise, and hope, a world that promotes peace. Are you ready to take on this responsibility? It is not about you, it is simply about love for another.