~ an excerpt from a life
Some days, my mother prefers to read, ignoring my presence. In those moments, we are adrift. Mother and Daughter slip past one another, like ghost ships in the night. I fail to tow her back to now, to us, to me.
Today she stares off into the distance, a novel in hand. Her eyes close. She pauses. Much like Alice, she owns a slice of ‘Wonderland’. Her eye’s view of life is from an artist’s perspective, each lost or found scene, a painting. Stormy skies smear indigo grey to turquoise, her oceans, cerulean. The universe handed her this gift, both a blessing and a curse, the ability to meddle with clarity.
Her eyes open. She is ready to return.
Mom shares a story. A story that sticks. It links to my father. I listen as we time travel back to the mid 60’s. Years dissolve age and I see her, lounging on a deck chair. She wears white pedal pushers and an indigo sweater, her hair swept back beneath a knotted silk scarf. It resembles Pucci; it isn’t. Beautiful as she inhales on a cigarette. I watch her exhale. Smoke ribbons curl on the breeze.
if you are a breeze
then I am a tempest
if you are fire
then I am ice
a mountain, a valley
shape shifting through time
Athena in armor, Artemis and Stag
If you are lost, can’t find a way
Like a search light I shall find you
Pluck you from the stormy seas
And turn the tides to shore
If you get scared when their monsters’ play
Like a blanket I shall cover you
And tuck you close, be your shield
It’s all just smoke and mirrors
So hush sweet angel
No more tears
I’ll stay right here, beside you
Through the brutal and the beautiful
I’ll love you for all time
~ storm lullabye
The universe is a painter. A hushed brush slips over canvas. Indigo kisses grey. The sky rips open in a shower of scattered pearls. Land stills beneath Winter’s touch.
Snowflakes tumble, blanketing the lonely streets. Crystals shimmer and tease shadows. Moonlit ribbons drape the dark. From the forest’s edge, he steps.
The silence is deafening.
And I stand enchanted by the wonder of it all.
~ A lone wolf guards my heart
and as the snow melts
so will your heart
and as the flowers’ bloom
so shall we
and it is your kindness that draws me in. The mere thought that I deserve all that you give, all that you are, baffles. And you ask for nothing in return. Who does this anymore?
The saddest moment is when you realize that the people you love, the ones you’d give anything for, are the very same whose smiles mirrored sunbeams behind a curtain of darkness. The same who served you sweet tea, soured in deceit.
The throne has tipped
Let me help you find that crown
~ we stand united
“Listen,” she said.
I am in love with you.
To this day, you linger on the edges of my mind, clouding my lens. It’s that simple.
You’re my first thought in the morning, my last dream at night. Any time, anywhere. It’s all you.”