Overhead, dark clouds rip open. Raindrops slip from the car’s windowpane; I watch them disappear. The clouds cover the sky like gauze, softening a wound. Loss festers. Heaven’s tears spill forth as Angels witness an aching sadness that can only be found on earth.

Today I uncrate grief. Yes, I miss you; wish you here, returned to earth. It is true. Sadness shadows me in odd moments. Today the veil of cover hid her from the light. As she snuck up behind me, I sensed your presence. She’s aging. Pulling away. You heard my unspoken words.

We sit to rest. Her words spoken, tossed like rocks, hard hits to the heart,

“This was your father’s favourite place to dine. You enjoyed coming here, too.”

Not today. In that moment, shame surfaces. I rush my mother too much. It stems from a fear of regret, this desire to hurry her, pack up the never- ending stack of fries that she barely touches, drink the brimming coffee placed before her. I steal our time, afraid of growing old too fast, waiting.

As ifsensing my inner thoughts, she fumbles, wraps her lunch and requests a cup to go. It’s enough for today.

We drive along in silence. Rain thrums a pounding rhythm upon the roof of the car. She slowly walks to the front door of her building, turns and waves. I wonder if she cries too. I want to rush to her, hold her frailty, stop time.

You interfered again, set yourself down like stone between us. There are beautiful moments I recall, snapshots in time I cherish. Yet, just to sit with you under the stars one more time would be enough. We could talk.

Today you haunt. Images flash. One repeats for no apparent reason. The stray pointer you snuck into the kitchen; its big eyes shone light from beneath deep, muddy pools. The old blanket you wrapped around the creature’s shivering bones, your concern for  another’s well being. In that moment you taught me compassion. You were kind.

You stood strong in the world. You believed in right and fought for it, demanded it. Your words became my truth, protected me with steadfast might. You taught me to be brave.

You believed in me; said I could be anything I wanted to be. The world I lived in offered opportunity. When I faltered, your words echoed,

“Work hard.”

That was the mantra you spoke. It was called responsibility. Do you recall how, each morning, you left a never- ending list of chores for me to complete? Each evening, I’d hand you the crumpled list, proud to have crossed off each and every item. The following mornings found longer lists waiting on the kitchen table. You taught me to persevere.

If I could bring you home we could talk. My tears, the proof of enduring love.

You sit upon the usual chair. Hyper vigilant, I notice a repetitive twitch of your left thumb as it strokes a finger, sense your anxiety. You avert your gaze, turn your head and look away. This time I call you out.

stone angel

stone angel

Prepare yourself. Pent up words unleash a spoken fury, slice through the thorns and twisted vines that wrap your soul. Unafraid of the tangled silence you grew, I press on to satisfy the wondering that buries me alive with a never- ending grief. That is the legacy you left.

Once satisfied of atonement, I polish you, ask how you came to be so aware of vulnerability; I ask after your youth, your dreams and wishes. There is still a moment of time. Share your regrets.

Please banish your shame. My hand reaches forth and gently takes your palm. I press your knotted fingers to mine as we sit, now in silence. You can leave, rest in peace. Know that you taught me well. I can finish our story, put back the piece you fumbled. It’s called loyalty.

Always loved.

2 Comments on “For You

  1. This is a really beautiful piece of writing. Evocative imagery and lyrical prose. I was moved with the way you captured loss and regret.

Goal Digger

Be Positive, Patient and Persistent...

Sauce Box

Never get lost in the Sauce

SKYLARITY

Mindfulness, Spontaneity and Authenticity

Little Fears

Tales of whimsy, humour and courgettes

Corkboards and Coffee Houses

Reflections on Writing

Lizzy's Litanies

Is there no way out of the mind? Of lazy litanies and trying to make sense on the way down the rabbit's hole...

Your sentence here.

Give me a sentence. I'll write you a story.

HeartSphere

Conversations with the Heartmind

atkokosplace

Simply a lifestyle blog! Come along with me...

deepspiritleading

Reflections on spirituality in everyday life

Minister Is A Verb

Let your passion be directed by reason. Take Action!

Dean J. Baker - Poetry, and prose poems

My books: https://www.amazon.com/Dean-J.-Baker/e/B00IC6PGQM

The thinking girl's guide to life

Written by Janine Clifton

I'm a Writer, Yes, I Am!

Martha Ann Kennedy's Blog, Copyright 2013-2017, all rights reserved to the author/artist

The One Thing I know For Sure

A soft place to fall, some poetry, some stories some random thoughts but most of all a place that I hope blesses those who stop by.

Souldier Girl

Poetry from a heart on fire

V-Twin Life

Bikers Life, Bars, News, and Events

Goal Digger

Be Positive, Patient and Persistent...

Sauce Box

Never get lost in the Sauce

SKYLARITY

Mindfulness, Spontaneity and Authenticity

Little Fears

Tales of whimsy, humour and courgettes

Corkboards and Coffee Houses

Reflections on Writing

Lizzy's Litanies

Is there no way out of the mind? Of lazy litanies and trying to make sense on the way down the rabbit's hole...

Your sentence here.

Give me a sentence. I'll write you a story.

HeartSphere

Conversations with the Heartmind

atkokosplace

Simply a lifestyle blog! Come along with me...

deepspiritleading

Reflections on spirituality in everyday life

Minister Is A Verb

Let your passion be directed by reason. Take Action!

Dean J. Baker - Poetry, and prose poems

My books: https://www.amazon.com/Dean-J.-Baker/e/B00IC6PGQM

The thinking girl's guide to life

Written by Janine Clifton

I'm a Writer, Yes, I Am!

Martha Ann Kennedy's Blog, Copyright 2013-2017, all rights reserved to the author/artist

The One Thing I know For Sure

A soft place to fall, some poetry, some stories some random thoughts but most of all a place that I hope blesses those who stop by.

Souldier Girl

Poetry from a heart on fire

V-Twin Life

Bikers Life, Bars, News, and Events

EMPOWERING WOMEN

Relationships, Words of Hope and Inspiration, Empowerment

Words Like Honey

add sweetness to my soul

I didn't have my glasses on....

A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.

The Ninth Life

It's time to be inspired, become encouraged, and get uplifted!

a POP of red

A blog of utilitarian DIYs, fantastic food, and much more

The Crafty Mummy

DIY, Crafts and Handmade

Words.Become.Legacies

My thoughts come to ink

BLOG

Spread Hope. Inspire Others.

prairiebazaar

Vintage, Upcycled, Handmade

SOLM Designs

Elegant, Simple & Fresh Design

re:retro

collecting retro

FOUND THIS, PAINTED THAT.

Decorating solutions for the dollar challenged.

WithLoveWenBlog

I’m the creator of WithLoveWen.com Emphasizing a lifestyle through writing, exploring cities, healthy habits and fashion. Based in the New York City area.

What Inspires Your Writing?

A blog dedicated to writers...and the people, places, and things that spark their creativity

anntogether

AM Roselli's art & writing site

Memoir Notes

a blog for memoir writers

DoubleU = W

WITHIN ARE PIECES OF ME