Lately I awaken, the dream remnants lingering cast like a veil over form. An unanswered question hovers. Pushed aside, betrayed; shame surfaces. The frightened young woman deep within whispers, I must be flawed, something is wrong with me. The adult reasons, Perhaps not. Perhaps it was as simple as you didn’t fit in anymore.
I am his daughter, patiently holding silences. Chosen memories safe, I snug the precious moments, choosing to believe magical qualities endure. Perhaps not, perhaps fooled into believing an illusion of love.
I want to let him go; there are moments I turn and face the skies, a silent scream of anger for one who betrayed. Believing words that ring hollow. Never an illusion the memories stay, resurfacing at the moment between something to believe in and nothing. The unanswered question remains.
It is hard to trust. Pausing to view the world, once I ran to greet it, cautious now. Someone said,
“Find a way to let it go.”
When I find that way, it will be final. The world will darken a shade as I face the truth.
A hardened heart will alter. So you see, I hold on to him, cherish what I knew, all for a belief in love; I loved him so.