Musing Matters of the Heart

“I have not broken your heart – you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.” 
― Emily BrontëWuthering Heights

 

Some days I wish for do over moments in life, a pause button that we press, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.   Do overs are fleeting and we often miss them.  It bewilders me when I hear of family discord, cruelty, and neglect.  “What’s done is done,” “Leave the past in the past,” or even, “Who cares?”  With matters of the heart, it can be difficult to accept those unhelpful words, impossible to reconcile the loss.  That’s betrayal’s legacy, deep loss. The world continues turning, we move forward, busy, preoccupied, until in time we find ourselves pausing, searching for answers. A fleeting do over moment, a chance to say what we need to say or do what we need to do.

 

If only we could empathize with another in that moment, appreciate the point of view, feel  the sadness, experience the pain.  If we could sit on our anger, appreciate that words wound.  Quick to judge another, we assume we know the reasons why as we point fingers to blame.  The other is our enemy. We are satisfied with ourselves, we shut the door.

 

Could we listen to the inner voice that whispers~ Be kind? Could we comfort the saddened soul, connect to their sorrow?  It is easier to blame.  We allow betrayal to cut deep and we mock. The wound festering until the truth is revealed when we eventually meet face to face.  A do over moment, opportunities provided by the universe to set our souls to right.

Look into my eyes.  I am your sister, your friend, your neighbour.  I am your mother, your grandmother, a member of your community. I am your daughter.  We are all family.

Don’t waste an opportunity to extend a hand, offer a kind word, listen to a voice.  Through loving kindness we can heal.  Simple true words.  Connect to another in that precious do over moment.

 

 

 

Ancestry

The ad captures my attention~ discover your past, your family’s story.  I begin a quest to discover the history of my family, to know their stories. Regrettably, it never occurred to me to enquire about family when I had the chance.  The relatives I knew kept silences and secret whisperings locked away.

An ancestry membership started me on a journey to discover my past, to discover the men and women whose spirit, hard work, and resilience contributed to my DNA.  Like Alice, I fall down the rabbit hole to emerge in England.  Perhaps this partly explains the allure of floral and chintz.  I cannot pass a vintage thrift shop; I must enter and wander the aisles, linger with the china tea cups and saucers.

Cabbage roses capture my attention. Closing my eyes, woodland hares and rose bushes come into focus.  A calico cat peeks out from behind a stone shed, its stealthy body poised, yellow eyes set upon a morning robin, watching as the bird alights atop the country garden’s netting.  Sweet peas inch up the strings, their perfumed fragrance intoxicating, carried on a gentle breeze.

A paper bag princess, royalty eludes me! Instead, I discover a fascinating world, its simplicity steeped within the doctrines of the Church of England and the land.  I am descended from working class people; tenacious spirits, the farmers and carters beckon me to pause and pay respect.  The great, great, great-granddaughter of hardworking men and women who tilled the beautiful pastoral lands around Shropshire, England.  I wonder if an everlasting thread connects us still. At times, their presence fleeting, their faces mirrored back. Perhaps these old souls smile when they view my humble garden, the sunflower seeds and tightly rounded sweet peas unfurling from seed coat jackets.  Maybe they tenderly gaze back from the faces of those I hold dear.

I stop to study the women’s photographs.  I note beauty and grace, the comforting resemblances to those now here. Standing tall, their proud high foreheads face the camera.  Beautiful dark eyes share the untold stories, the stories of strength and courage.  These courageous women, many sent to work as domestics while still children, some missionaries in China, others interned. Many grieved babies lost to consumption and disease.  Many lost husbands.  All had mouths to feed.  These tireless women, their beautiful, haunted eyes beholden to the emotions, sorrow and joy. Beholden to the land and the seasons.

When in doubt, I imagine these women sending forth heart beats fueled by a fierce strength and unrelenting resilience. Loyal to family, sheltering one another throughout life’s storms, imagining the opportunities, if only wealth or education had happened along their paths.  They forge on, some daring to dream of a future with opportunities and choices for those waiting in line.

Discovering a family’s past, uncovering the mysteries and facts, I set my compass down.  It is an honour to gently sift through the stories, unveil the lives of ones so true.  I take away their gems and stones to polish and shine.  I gather strength from their life stories.  I cherish who I am.

 

 

 

Under A Blood Red Moon

Love to my way of thinking, is the emotion one feels when they meet someone who makes them be what they want to be. We feel love toward someone who shows us the light, who pushes us to become what we have always wanted to become but may have never realized. We love the person who makes us love ourselves.” 
― Mina HepsenUnder the Blood Red Moon

http://www.space.com/25250-a-tetrad-of-lunar-eclipses-starts-in-april-video.html

Nasa explains this breath-taking phenomena better than I do.  Please click on the link to find out all to know about the early morning total eclipse of the moon.

Under A Blood Red Moon 

I awake at four a.m. and gaze out through the unveiled window.  It is the moon that captures my weary attention.  It hangs suspended, a brilliant white light, full and heavy, in an inky black sky. A wispy cloud passes by, as if a wayward remnant from a beribboned banner cut.  A silken piece left after the  announcement that the greatest show of the universe is unfolding.

In the Bible, it is written that God uses the moon and the stars to send signals to earth.  The moon held power over the people.  It brought about their fears and swayed imaginations.  Superstitions surround the topic of the moon.  Beware~ those who sleep under a full moon run the risk of insanity or blindness. Worse yet, the magic conjures to turn one into a werewolf; fear not, you are safe from harm.  This occurs only if the lunar event  falls on a Friday.

I have slept under the blood-red moon, awakening too late to view the total lunar eclipse or tetrad.  I catch the last stages of this spectacular lunar event.  For a few minutes I am able to glimpse the shadow of red, surrounding the edges of la luna.  Our collective hearts beating back to one another.

During a blood-red moon, one is viewing every sunset and every sunrise around the earth at the same time. It appears as if earth’s reflected back by the brilliant moon light.  We, the human population, are given a brief opportunity to view each other’s worlds, however fleeting the moment.

It is impossible not to be awed by this spectacular celestial event.

If you missed this lunar event, mark your calendars for October 8, 2015 when once again the earth will experience a total lunar eclipse.

Full lunar eclipse. Moon 5 photo 3