I read the obituary of an acquaintance, gone too soon. This man was an unsung hero in his community, a man who spent most of a lifetime saving and helping others. Invincible. His legacy notes stated that he wanted most to be remembered as a good husband and father to his children. How fortunate the world was to have known him, how fortunate his family to have experienced his enduring love.
This post goes out to all the fathers and mothers, grandparents, siblings, and relatives. Care more for each other. It’s never too late to mend the family fences, if that is what you truly want to have happen.
Whether you are 5 or 50, you are always a “child”within the context of the parent. Second spouses, partners, remember this and choose words and actions carefully. Show some compassion.
It doesn’t matter the circumstances of the event, events soften and fade from memory. Children forgive. They wait for your footsteps to return. They wait for your hand and they wait for you to tell them eye to eye, face to face~ I will always love you. Five simple words, yet so often, missing in the moments of greatest need. Your family needs you even when they pretend that they don’t. Find them, tell them, show that you care.
What matters are the unanswered questions left hanging, the pauses, the silence. The waiting for the other to make the first move. The words, “I love you,” spoken, yet, the actions so out of sync. The beats in a day that are punctuated by the question, Did you love me?
Here’s the catch~ you have to want to reach out, accept accountability, and through your actions show love, or the fence will remain broken. It is never enough to profess love; you must be willing to show love through actions. You must be brave and stand up for right. As a father, mother, second partner, you don’t pick who is in or out of your family circle. Reach out and help the healing process begin. The circle, broken, can be connected. Invincible.
When you choose to leave your family home for another relationship, spouse, or just to be free of responsibility, be ready to accept the consequences of your actions. It may take a lifetime to right the wrong, heal the hurt, forgive the other. Begin to heal. Your children matter, always. Seek them out, send a note, resend it, if need be. Never stop telling them through your actions and your words, that you love them.
It’s never about the money and the “things,” for when it all shakes out and your time on this earth is over, it will be about your legacy. Did you love them? Were you willing to stand up for them? Did you show love through thoughtful actions? In the quiet of the night, can family members confidently state, I was loved.
What will your legacy be? To be able to have stated, He was a good father, she was a good mother. Caring actions that create a legacy of love to live on through the hearts and in the minds of your family. No matter the circumstance.
Your children will take this gift, treasure it, and through their loving actions, the gift will live on throughout the years. Once the seeds are planted, they will grow.
If the fence around your family has fallen, focus from this minute on, toward building it back up.