I read the obituary of an acquaintance, gone too soon.  This man was an unsung hero in his community, a man who spent most of a lifetime saving and helping others. Invincible.  His legacy notes stated that he wanted most to be remembered as a good husband and father to his children.  How fortunate the world was to have known him, how fortunate his family to have experienced his enduring love.

This post goes out to all the fathers and mothers, grandparents, siblings, and relatives.  Care more for each other.  It’s never too late to mend the family fences, if that is what you truly want to have happen.

Whether you are 5 or 50, you are always a “child”within the context of the parent.  Second spouses, partners, remember this and choose words and actions carefully.  Show some compassion.

It doesn’t matter the circumstances of the event, events soften and fade from memory.  Children forgive.  They wait for your footsteps to return.  They wait for your hand and they wait for you to tell them eye to eye, face to face~ I will always love you.  Five simple words, yet so often, missing in the moments of greatest need.  Your family needs you even when they pretend that they don’t.  Find them, tell them, show that you care.

What matters are the unanswered questions left hanging, the pauses, the silence.  The waiting for the other to make the first move. The words, “I love you,” spoken, yet, the actions so out of sync.  The beats in a day that are punctuated by the question, Did you love me?

Here’s the catch~ you have to want to reach out, accept accountability, and through your actions show love, or the fence will remain broken.  It is never enough to profess love; you must be willing to show love through actions.  You must be brave and stand up for right. As a father, mother, second partner, you don’t pick who is in or out of your family circle.  Reach out and help the healing process begin.  The circle, broken, can be connected.  Invincible.

When you choose to leave your family home for another relationship, spouse, or just to be free of responsibility, be ready to accept the consequences of your actions.  It may take a lifetime to right the wrong, heal the hurt, forgive the other.  Begin to heal.  Your children matter, always.  Seek them out, send a note, resend it, if need be.  Never stop telling them through your actions and your words, that you love them.

It’s never about the money and the “things,” for when it all shakes out and your time on this earth is over, it will be about your legacy.  Did you love them?  Were you willing to stand up for them?  Did you show love through thoughtful actions?  In the quiet of the night, can family members confidently state, I was loved.

What will your legacy be?  To be able to have stated, He was a good father,  she was a good mother.  Caring actions that create a legacy of love to live on through the hearts and in the minds of your family.  No matter the circumstance.

Your children will take this gift, treasure it, and through their loving actions, the gift will live on throughout the years. Once the seeds are planted, they will grow.

If the fence around your family has fallen, focus from this minute on, toward building it back up.

7 Comments on “It’s Never Too Late

  1. Awesome and needed thoughts for our day. You’ll never feel sorry because you told a loved one too many times that you love them. Many people lament daily the fact that they told their loved ones too seldom of their emotions.

    • Well, it isn’t always as simple as my message suggests. I realize that life is complicated, one has to be willing to listen to and accept another. If we just took better care of one another…

  2. If I’ve lived a good life, doing good things that help others, I’ll be happy when I’m leaving this world. You never know when that moment may sneak up on us so we have to make sure we aren’t saving those good deeds for a rainy day.

    • Yes, we wait too long to say what should have been said, or done. We realize too late or is it ever too late to reach out to others? One good thing about growing older, is gaining wisdom. It doesn’t take much to help another in need.

  3. Lynne, this is a good reminder. I’m sorry it had to come from the hard experience of your friend’s passing. Part of my responsibility as a writer (I feel) is to foster the legacy of those who have been part of my life.

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